I don’t think that news that I’m taking a break from blogging will break the internet. To my faithful reader, I am sorry. I can recommend some other blogs to you.
Last week, I had a sudden awareness: I wrote a post that got a little bit of traction (by my low standard) and I didn’t really enjoy that. Then it dawned on me that I hadn’t really ben enjoying writing for a bit and was doing it mechanically a discipline. There’s nothing wrong with discipline, but I think the mechanical nature was showing up in the finished product. My last few months of blogging could be called “uninspiring” by a very diplomatic person. One of the more insidious aspects of the way my depression manifests is that I lose joy in things that I once found pleasurable. I think that’s starting to happen here.
I put a lot of energy into writing even when I don’t put a lot of time. I’v been thinking lately about what it would look like to put that daily output of energy into one (or several) larger projects instead of my daily rants and narcissistic quips. I have a couple of projects that I’ve started that I haven’t given much attention. I think now is the time for that.
You can’t give what you don’t have and I think a writer is only as good as they are a reader. I’ve been lax in my reading lately. I think my writing could be greatly enriched by reading more widely.
I also think it’s time to start delving into some parts of myself that aren’t for public consumption. Some would say I’ve already done that, but “some” can bite me. There’s some work that I need to do alone, without the thought of an audience. I need to do some digging around inside of myself.
So, this is it for awhile. I’m considering starting another blog that is nothing but pictures I take to scratch my artistic itch, but for now, my blog, this blog, needs a rest. To the couple of people who do read my stuff on the reg, thanks! I hope I’ve said something that made you think or at least made you smile. Whether you know it or not, you give me so much more than I give you and I am grateful.
I’m more emotional now than I expected to be. A strong indication that this is the right thing to do and the right time to do it.
Peace and Love to You,
Derrick L. Weston