Lenten affirmation, day 40

tonight I affirm a direct contradiction to my greatest fear. What is that fear, you ask? Well…

Go in peace!

And may the God who walks on wounded feet, walk with you on the path.

May the God who serves with wounded hands open your hands to serve.

May the God who lives with wounded heart open your heart to love.

May you the face of Christ in all you meet and may all you meet see the face of Christ in you

That’s my benediction. I said it most Sundays for five years. I fully believe that I can see the face of Christ, the image of the Divine, in the face of others. I rarely see it in myself. I believe the grace and love that I preached every week was for everyone but me. Grace is for other people. I have to be perfect. Flawless and without blame. And woe unto me when I don’t meet my own impossible standard for myself. The self-flagellation is brutal. 

Tonight, I simply affirm this: I am not the exception.

I’ve included a selfie every night this week. When I see myself, I see a gangly teenager, awkward, ugly, and unloveable. This week I have looked at my own face and looked for the Divine spark in me. Sometimes I see it. 

I am thankful for my babies who are the best reflection of me. I’m thankful for playgrounds and sleepy parents. I’m thankful for road trips and music. I’m thankful that the panic didn’t last long. I’m thankful because I have so much more than I realize. 


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